You have likely heard the term gaslighting tossed around in general conversation, on television, in the media, and even on social media. Perhaps you have even said in jest to a friend, “Stop gaslighting me!” But what does this mean, exactly? And how can spousal gaslighting impact a marriage already on the rocks?
Psychology Today defines gaslighting as an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control where the victim is fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true — often about themselves.
Common gaslighting phrases you have likely heard or knowingly and unknowingly said to someone, including your spouse, include:
- Everything is your fault.
- That was just a joke.
- You are too emotional.
- I never said that.
- Stop being so dramatic.
- Well, if you loved me.
- You made me do it.
- Everyone hates you.
Signs That You Are a Victim of Spousal Gaslighting
As family law attorneys, we wish every child, spouse, sibling, and relative could have access to a loving, safe, stable, and blessed home. Sadly, the threat of family violence is an ever-present and, at times, silent danger. It is important to know that “family violence” is merely an umbrella term that describes any form of abuse, mistreatment, physical harm, injury, sexual assault, neglect, feelings of fear, or threats perpetrated by one family member or person with whom the victim has an intimate relationship with, against another child or adult in the same family. Common forms of family violence can be physical, sexual violence, or emotional or verbal abuse.
And yes, this includes spousal gaslighting. It is mental cruelty, as the victimized spouse experiences increased self-doubt as they are told over and over again by the manipulative spouse that what they think, feel, or remember to be true is actually wrong.
Here are 7 signs that you may be the victim of spousal gaslighting:
- You are genuinely confused and begin to wonder if what your abuser is saying is actually true.
- You begin to question your judgment, feelings, and perception of reality.
- You start questioning whether you are “too sensitive” and spend too much time apologizing.
- You cannot help but feel alone, helpless, and vulnerable.
- You are constantly frustrated with yourself.
- You struggle to make decisions.
- You feel like something terrible is about to happen and feel on edge and even threatened.
The State of Texas requires licensed professionals such as teachers, doctors, medical personnel, and daycare officials to report any instances of family violence, child abuse, and neglect. We as a society should also be compelled to report as well. Part of that comes with knowing what these terms mean, what to look for — including spousal gaslighting — and how to report an incident.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-7233. Reports of suspected child abuse or neglect should be made to any state or local law enforcement agency, the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, and the state agency that operates, licenses, certifies, or registers the facility in which the alleged abuse or neglect occurred (daycare facility).
It is important to include as much detail as possible, including incident information, the full names of specific parties involved (perpetrators and victims), their current location, and any other pertinent information.
Call Nelson Law Group Today!!
If divorce is the answer, you need an advisor to guide you through each stage and help you deal with the fears that naturally come with that. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of family law experience to every case.
Give our knowledgeable staff at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A. Nelson, click here.
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Source: Nelson Law Group